Perfectionism Overview & Coaching Tips

Overview

“Perfectionism is a personality disposition characterized by striving for flawlessness and setting exceedingly high standards for performance accompanied by tendencies for overly critical evaluations” (Stoeber, 2012).

Perfectionism contributes to a higher risk of

• depression,
• anxiety,
• suicide ideation,
• eating disorders,
• somatic complaints,
• and obsessive-compulsive disorder 

..“it is when perfectionists experience uncontrollable stressors that they are particularly at risk; perfectionism may be less problematic when life is manageable, predictable, and controllable to a certain extent (Molnar et al. 2020, pg. 140)."

Coaching Perfectionism 

Cognitive Behavioral Coaching

• Challenging unhelpful thinking and behavior patterns and replacing with more helpful ways of thinking and behaving
  • See Thinking Traps Overview, Challenging Automatic Negative Thoughts, Avoidance vs. Approach Cycles

Self-Compassion

• Self-kindness
  • Treating ourselves with the same kindness that we'd offer a close friend or loved one
    • See Self-Critic to Self-Coach Exercise 
    • See Dr. Kristin Neff's Self-Compassion practices
• Common humanity
  • Acknowledging and accepting the shared experiences in human nature. No one is immune to making mistakes, suffering, or struggling at times. It's all part of the full spectrum of a life fully lived. 
• Mindfulness 
  • Building mindfulness skills to shift into the objective observer and take stock of evidence of reality today 
  • Example:
    • Coming to your senses exercise – name five things you see, hear, smell, feel, taste
      • Naming without evaluation or opinions
        • Taps into objective observation mind 
        • Use that state to take stock of the evidence present in the client’s life today re: whatever the stuck place is for the past or future

Acceptance and Commitment Coaching

• Some of us have more difficulty managing our thoughts than others. For example, those with ADHD navigate cognitive differences that effect the self-control functions in the brain, those experiencing overwhelming levels of distress, and/or those experiencing symptoms of mental illness have less capacity to manage thoughts in those conditions. 
• In these cases, Acceptance and Commitment Coaching can be a better fit. 
  • See Acceptance and Commitment Coaching Overview & Tips