Three Ways to Coach to Promote Meaningful Friendships

A fundamental aspect of youth coaching involves supporting adolescents in the exploration and identification of their values, desires, and goals. Many teens seek coaching with the goal of creating stronger friendships or increasing self-esteem and social confidence. Below are three approaches you can use when an adolescent expresses the desire to create and execute strategies to expand their communities and connections. Prioritize open-ended questions, active listening, reflecting, and summarizing.

1.      Coach to Develop Self Awareness around Values

Inquire:

·         What is really important to you in your life right now?

·         What are three words that describe what you stand for as a person?

·         What impact do you want to have on your community?

·         Why is it important to pursue your passions?

·         How do you feel when you engage your interests?

·         Why do you want to develop more friendships?

·         What will life be like when you have friends who share your interests and values?

2.      Coach to Leverage Environment and Resources

Brainstorm:

·         Where might you be able to connect with likeminded people in your community?

·         What clubs/groups/activities in your school/neighborhood/surroundings would you be interested in joining?

·         How could you find out if your classmates share similar interests or values to you?

·         What adults can you reach out to for help connecting with people who share your interests?

·         How can you safely use social media and the internet to connect with likeminded people?

·         How can you find out about opportunities to engage in your interests in the community?

3.      Coach to Determine Action Plans for Social Connection

Collaborate:

·         What are small steps you can take to put yourself out there?

·         How do you approach people you are interested in connecting with?

·         What are some ways you can start a conversation with someone new?

·         What can you say to yourself to feel secure when reaching out to other people?

·         How will you respond if someone is interested in connecting? How will you respond if they aren’t interested?

·         Who can support you as you step outside of your comfort zone to connect with other people?

·         How can you take care of yourself after you initiate these connections?